You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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