In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
