New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
