YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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