Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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