I wish they made helmets for livers.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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