Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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