I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
