God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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