My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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