Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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