They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
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then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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