I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee