in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
