I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
