we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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