I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
