Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
tell me about the fingering
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