I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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