lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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