to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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