he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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