Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
