Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize