My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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