Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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