Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
