I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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