Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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