Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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