Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

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  (202): i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady http://tfl.nu/uziv
  Replies (21) Good night (1962) Bad night (634)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Di me a solid and hit me with your car.

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  (715): Di me a solid and hit me with your car. http://tfl.nu/1rsf
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (2169)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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  (479): I had fun last night. We should have sex less often. http://tfl.nu/07uu
  Replies (8) Good night (1411) Bad night (6919)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

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  (860): you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance. http://tfl.nu/1cpz
  Replies (16) Good night (8521) Bad night (1398)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate

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  (937): Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate http://tfl.nu/e0yr
  Replies (22) Good night (7797) Bad night (1496)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?

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  (815): Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes? http://tfl.nu/tg6b
  Replies (6) Good night (2529) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?

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  (203): Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight? http://tfl.nu/h4cr
  Replies (8) Good night (1569) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.

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  (724): NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside. http://tfl.nu/mev5
  Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (444)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?

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  (509): Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet? http://tfl.nu/3lpx
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (868)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?

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  (519): Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right? http://tfl.nu/pz20
  Replies (11) Good night (784) Bad night (1572)
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  (831): View more from California

  Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur

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  (831): Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur http://tfl.nu/smm5
  Replies (2) Good night (966) Bad night (586)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.

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  (940): Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying. http://tfl.nu/q8jl
  Replies (9) Good night (472) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics

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  (774): Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics http://tfl.nu/x2gy
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.

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  (732): He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man. http://tfl.nu/spji
  Replies (2) Good night (268) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't remember dinner

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"

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  (850): I can't remember dinner (1-850): Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!" http://tfl.nu/mx63
  Replies (1) Good night (684) Bad night (302)

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