Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279

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(281): # days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279 http://tfl.nu/pu81

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(214): View more from Texas

apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

(817): View more from Texas

told ya

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(214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea

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(631): View more from New York

After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

(1-631): View more from New York

that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

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(631): After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch (1-631): that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her http://tfl.nu/x28l

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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(270): I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy. http://tfl.nu/gapv

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(302): View more from Delaware

just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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(302): just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach. http://tfl.nu/5cxr

Replies (3) Good night (2864) Bad night (839)
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(518): View more from New York

it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.

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(518): it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime. http://tfl.nu/6fla

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(325): View more from Texas

You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.

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(325): You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt. http://tfl.nu/r2sr

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.

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(717): I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink. http://tfl.nu/gbhu

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(607): View more from New York

Did strip banana grams actually happen last night

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(607): Did strip banana grams actually happen last night http://tfl.nu/pz66

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(607): View more from New York

I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

(1-607): View more from New York

Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

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(607): I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid. (1-607): Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late. http://tfl.nu/e8gd

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.

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(603): Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you. http://tfl.nu/ssin

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(631): View more from New York

I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"

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(631): I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path" http://tfl.nu/xcvb

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(678): View more from Georgia

It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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(678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.

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(413): I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do. http://tfl.nu/n7xt

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(618): View more from Illinois

I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.

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(618): I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away. http://tfl.nu/bvec

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