oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship