Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
