You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he fucked my hip out of place.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck