Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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