ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
