last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
