apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
