I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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