There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize