I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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