found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
