just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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