"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
