Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
wow bdsm is so cute
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