"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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