THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
