Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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