Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
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Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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