did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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