put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
