he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
