If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I have vodka in my lungs
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
