After last night, I could never be a politician.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
