That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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