Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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