I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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