I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
false alarm. still invincible.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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