I understand Curling. That high.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
