I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
