Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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