I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize