You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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