I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's blow job season.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
