so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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